Lost

While I sit here by myself in a quiet house, my mind wanders. I worry about the future and what it may bring. I worry about the past and if it will continue to haunt me. I want to believe that I am good enough for someone to love...but I've started to have my doubts. I love Andrew with all of my heart and I think he does too. That's one thing I can't stand about him, he never speaks his feelings. Well, I shouldn't say never because he sometimes does and when he does it is just fantastic. It's everything I had wanted to hear for a while but I guess it just wasn't ready to come out yet. I feel lost without him around. He's currently in Okeene watching his youngest brother play football while I'm here at the house about to finish removing the last bit of grout in the shower. I know you shouldn't pin all of your happiness on a person let alone only one, but he does make me happy. I'm pretty happy without him around but I'm the happiest with him near. I can't wait to be his for forever and I'm pretty sure that even then it won't be enough...