Going Back to Basics

So, here for a while I have been going through some crazy stuff. I've hurt many people but have also been hurt in return. I know that everything that I have done is not always right. Actually, it's pretty far from being right. I feel like I have been just pushed off of a cliff and I'm just falling. I've been falling for over 2 years now. People have tried to help me along the way, but I'm just too far gone to be helped I suppose. Everything that used to make me happy was based all around one person. So what makes me happy now? Crap if I know. I need to find my inner strength. That one thing that I could always lean on when no one was around to help. I did that since I was 15, surely I can do it 10 years later. Wow. 10 years ago my mom left. That seems like such a long time ago. 10 years ago Andrew's mom also passed away. A lot can happen in 10 years. A person can loved and lost, been broken down and lifted up, and met some of the greatest people in their life and they are gone now.

I have a problem, I admit it. I hurt people without knowing it. Or maybe I'm just so oblivious and so focused on myself that I just don't care. Maybe I'm trying to cover up the hurt and pain that I have endured by making other people suffer through the same. All that I know is that it needs to stop. I need to stop and enjoy life, even if it is alone currently. I need to learn how to deal with my demons and my past life choices before I can accept the Lisa that I currently am. I need to accept the Lisa that I currently am or else I'll just go through life constantly hurting people who don't deserve and just wander aimlessly through life without ever being happy.

So this is it, I'm going back to basics...just like my idol Christina Aguilera did. I think I'm ready to face it and I really do want to understand.