Lonely Thoughts

I really don't like it when Andrew isn't here because this house grows very quiet and it feels like the walls are closing in around me. I'm used to this feeling though because that's how I felt when I lived by myself for 2 years in Stillwater...I now remember why that was a bad idea. I was walking down memory lane by going through some notes that I had written and posted on facebook. There is one in particular that caused quite a stir in my family. I didn't attack my family in any way, but reading back through it I can see why they may have taken it that way. It makes me wonder, however, why they would feel attacked by a simple sentence. Did it bring up their own personal shortcomings that they have tried to hide? Are they jealous because of the things that I have done? Or are they just ready to stir up trouble at the slightest little thing? These questions will never be answered and I'm ok with that. I guess it will just leave me wondering. It's very apparent that I'm not like my family, especially when we are all gathered together. I don't socialize with anyone and pretty much keep to myself. Granted, that could be taken as that I think I am too good for everyone now, but that isn't the case. I just don't have anything to say to them. I have always been in the middle of the gap of the older people in my family and the younger, so I'm really not on the same level as anyone in my family...especially since I don't have kids and I'm not married. I guess I just wish that people in my family would realize and accept the fact that I'm different and I wouldn't be me if it were any other way.