Change

I am hard headed.

I have been told this my entire life. I have been taught to stand up for what I believe in. For some reason, whenever I do actually stand up for something in regards to my family I come out the bad guy. I decided to not be in my sisters wedding. It's her 4th marriage (yes...marriage #4 and she's about to be 33). I think that she is making a mockery out of the entire marriage institute. A marriage can't be built on a foundation that if one cheats on the other then the other must get back at the original cheater by cheating on them. A marriage also shouldn't start as "I don't have anything to lose!" when someone asks the new bride-to-be if she were going to answer "yes" to the proposal.

My oldest sister is only my half-sister. We share a mother (that I cannot stand) and that is where our similarities stop. She is a twice convicted felon, has 4 children (one of which she has not seen in several years because the father doesn't want her to), she has no high hopes for any of the children (she guesses her oldest daughter will be knocked up by the time she finishes high school and her oldest son will end up in prison), she has no job, and got her GED while incarcerated so that she may then be released early. I have no children, have never been married, got my bachelors in accounting and my masters in business administration, am currently in a long term relationship, and am trying to earn my CPA license. How much more opposite can a person get??

I had sent her a text stating that I couldn't be in her wedding and I have not heard a single word from her. She, of course, called my other sister and our mother. I was given the message from her that she never wanted to speak to me or hear from me again and that I better not show up at her wedding.

Part of this bothers me and the other part doesn't. It was never my intention to divide our family but then again I'm not the least bit surprised. The only person I would ever really care to spend time with would by my dad. I guess this bothers me because I know that I will never be able to go over to my parent's house to see my dad. I'll never know if the oldest sister will be there and my mother thinks that I'm basically the worst person ever and that the oldest sister is perfect. All I want to do is be able to spend time with my dad. I don't care if everyone else in my family hates me or not.

I don't surround myself with people who just want to bring me down. I have been brought down my entire life and I refuse for that to happen any longer. It's time to make a change. If that means that I start cutting out members of my family then I guess that's what will have to happen. I was raised to believe that family would be there for you through anything. Well, I have learned that is a line of bull and it may be true for some members of my family but not for all.